It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
This is my gift to your gina
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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