Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
