My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
