so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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