Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
