just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
