I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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