god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
