that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
