This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize