Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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