dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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