if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
That's when you crack a 10am beer
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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