I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
