Who did Billy Mays play for?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
