I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Randomize
