Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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