do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just threw up on my dentist
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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