i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
