He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
