Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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