Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Randomize
