I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
