i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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