i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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