"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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