Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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