Having a random hookup so left but love u
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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