Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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