i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
