I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
