I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize