3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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