Do vagina's smell?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
