i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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