I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
