There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
