the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
me + whiskey = a bad person
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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