Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
