That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
