I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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