I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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