Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
