Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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