I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
