big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
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