the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
