Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
