We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
