first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
