He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Ambien. No doubt about it.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
