I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
