Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
