My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
So drunk its hurt
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
