I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
