My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
