Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
