I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
